Parents say the darnest things

22 09 2010

Remember the show ‘ Kids say the darnest things’. Well, then they grew up, and in turn laughing at their parents at the things they spew.

My mom, for one, is a pretty mild mannered woman but can curse like a truck driver, upon provocation. Which is why I love ‘Shit My Dad Says’, where a son notes the well, shit, that his dad says. I am already sneaking in a few pages (but got to stop myself cos I am at the last few pages of another book). But I must say this is awesome stuff. Politically incorrect (extremely), matter of factly in-your-face vulgar. Well if you are not the reading sort, sign this up on Twitter. Just search ‘Shitmydadsays’  on twitter.

Here are some of the best quotes.

“Engagement rings are pointless. Indians gave cows…Oh sorry, congrats on proposing. We good now? Can I finish my indian story?”

“I didn’t say you were ugly. I said your girlfriend is better looking than you, and standing next to her, you look ugly.”

“Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor.”

“STOP apologizing. You’re sorry, he gets it, Jesus. You spilled a glass of wine, not fucked his wife.”

“Happy birthday, I didn’t get you a present…Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then too, unless it’s shitty.”

“Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.”

“Here’s a strawberry, sorry for farting near you…Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that’s the deal.” (this is my favourite!)